After passing the bar, the Cybertronian ambulance Chaser
became a lawyer for the Transfirm
of Merry Sue
and Associates. Then war broke out between Optimus Prime's Autobots and Megatron's Decepticons. Under Megatron's guns, Chaser decided joining the Decepticons and taking orders from Megatron would be preferable to getting shot. Now she's taking orders from everybody and getting shots all the time behind bars--a different kind of bar--as one of the bartenders at the Space Bar
Generally considered neutral territory even in wartime, the Space Bar has recently seen business picking up, ever since "the incident in Sweden" motivated the Autobots, Decepticons, Maximals, Predacons, Vehicons, Destrons, Cybertrons, Earthlings, and Nebulans to declare a ceasefire. No matter how tentatively, reluctantly, or unwillingly, the warring factions have entered into peace talks, and as Chaser looks around the bar, she finds herself cautiously optimistic about the possibility of a lasting peace.
To her right, in the northeast corner, Drumroll
and a few other Transformers are up on the stage, playing some fast-paced music. Nobody is singing, so the karaoke machine changes into robot mode and gets down on the dance floor.
Just this side of the dance floor, Shockwave
arm wrestle, while Blackjack
, and Swindler
crowd around a nearby table and place bets on the outcome. Shockwave, in robot mode, right hand behind his back, uses his weapon arm; Hook, in vehicle mode, uses his crane arm.
In the northwest corner, more or less straight ahead of Chaser but past all of the tables, Car Dart
are enjoying a game of darts.
To her left, close to the entrance in the southwest corner, Stickshift and a Sharkticon are shooting pool, a game recently imported to Cybertron from Earth. The Bakucons
(young Micromasters who turn into spherical Heat Seekers
, currently with their laser guns
retracted) seem to be having a grand old time acting as the cue ball and billiards, laughing and squealing and whooping excitedly.
As Chaser's gaze lingers on the pool game in progress, she sees Stickshift step aside and the main entrance door slides open so one of Chaser's regular customers can step inside. He's one of the Autobot cars, and she recognizes his face and deco, but she always gets his name mixed up with the other Autobot cars of similar body-type. Was this Prowl? Blues
Well, she may not be able to remember his name, but she knows what he likes to order. "The usual
?" she inquires.
He nods. "Shaken, not stirred."
"You got it."
While she works on filling that order, another Autobot--a drunk named Trunk, driving slowly and sloppily--rolls up to the counter and bumps
into it headlights-first, then changes from pickup truck to robot mode and tries to ask for a drink. "Hey," he slurs to Chaser's fellow female bartender, "give me one of those Cosmos
Chaser's coworker, an Autobot Go-Bot
who turns into a flying saucer, says, "Sorry, these drinks are for Table Six-Turbo. And my name is Path Finder
, not Cosmos
." Then she transforms into saucer mode, picks up her tray of drinks in a tractor beam, and glides over to the Six team's table, where a small crowd of Micromasters can be heard chanting "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!
Trunk watches Path Finder fly away, a look on his face like he wants to flip her off switch, then turns back to the bar and seems to notice Chaser for the first time. "Hey! Beep-beep, barkeep! How about some servos down here? I mean, some service down here. Whatever."
She gives the Autobot car his drink, and he gives her a nod of thanks and a look of sympathy as she turns to deal with the Autobot truck. "What can I get you?" she asks.
"Give me a dose of JaAm
, and an antifreeze chaser
. And a screwdriver
"Coming right up."
Apparently tired of standing, he switches back to truck mode, then drunkenly puts on his left turn signal. Chaser suspects that Trunk thinks using his turn signal this way is a sly way of winking at her, as if her taking his order makes them co-conspirators of some sort, but with a customer as wasted as he is, she can't be sure. In any event, she tries to politely ignore what he is doing while she fixes his order.
Meanwhile, another Decepticon female drives up to the bar, changes into robot mode, takes a seat, and helps herself to a handful of the complimentary nuts and bolts in a bowl on the counter.
"Be with you in an astrosecond," Chaser says.
"No rush," the Decepticar replies.
Seeing the newcomer, Trunk transforms from pickup truck to pickup artist--or tries to. "Well, hello, hot wheels," he says, walking over to taking the seat beside hers. "Buy you a draft
The Decepticar briefly looks Trunk over from top to bottom, disdainfully taking in his insobriety and severe lack of maintenance, and tells him bluntly, "Go unscrew yourself."
Trunk sneers at this response and turns away, then turns back into vehicle mode again. "Glitch," he mutters.
She hears him. "Bot-hole," she answers.
"Hey--watch it with the racial slurs," Chaser warns.
Trunk points a finger at Chaser and says, "I'll tell you something about races, Connie--you've lost."
"If you don't stop shooting your mouth off, I'm going to start shooting you!
" the Decepticar shouts.
"You try and you fry, Decepti-goon!"
Just as the escalation to violence seems inevitable, one of the bar's bouncers intervenes. "Reboot or we'll boot you ourselves, got it?" says the bouncer, Pounce
--or possibly Wingspan
. "The war is over
, okay? It's finished
. If you want to start something, then start your engines and go. If you want to stay, then you have to stay cool. Understood?"
The Decepticar conspicuously scrutinizes her tires, then announces, "I'm going to get some fresh air." She heads to the back, where the air pumps are.
After a while, the tension in the bar begins to ease up, and the usual hubbub of any typical bar scene in the universe resumes.
squeals into the bar and transforms into robot mode, climbing up onto the nearest table (Stickshift's pool table, as it happens). "Attention! This just came in over the emergency alert system. Bluster?"
Ironworks holds out his hand, and Bluster
, lying in stereo mode in Ironworks's palm, replays the message. "Attention, all Cybertronians. This is acting-Autobot-commander Systemus
. This is an all-points bulletin of top priority for all Transformers, regardless of faction, by my authority and the authority of acting-Decepticon-commander St. Raxus
, who is here with me. At or around 2600 Cybertron Standard Time, party or parties unknown actually stole the planet Cybertron
. At this time we do not know how or why the theft occurred, but as of now, reclaiming the planet intact is our top priority, with secondary objectives of identifying and apprehending the culprit or culprits and whatever they used to pull this off. Coordinate with the nearest Transformers and Transformer-allied groups and individuals available to you, contact as many Transformers and allies as you can to make sure every resource we can put into this IS put into this. If you have no leads or resources in your vicinity, rendezvous at... well, the coordinates where Cybertron is supposed to be. Let's see if we can find at the scene of the crime, and decide on our next course of action based on what we find. Also, see if you can contact anyone you believe was on Cybertron when this took place--if any of them are still there and we can reach them, they might be able to help us find where Cybertron was taken. Try to contact Optimus Prime and Galvatron too, since no one here has been able to reach them, to let them know what's going on ((and ask what do we do now))."
((Actually, their top priority SHOULD be making sure whatever was used to steal Cybertron isn't used against any other undeserving planets/moons/etc., but hey, maybe that's why these two are ACTING commanders and not ACTUAL commanders.))
"I'm acting-Decepticon-commander St. Raxus, and I approve this message."