Bad Earth Scans for Cybertronians
Moderators: Time Traveller, Kup
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- Decepticon Commander
- Posts: 4223
- Joined: Wed Aug 13, 2003 10:46 pm
- Location: The dark corners of CHARR
Bad Earth Scans for Cybertronians
Galvatron's guide to new Decepticons from Cybertron...
As all Cybertronians know, it's all about disguise when arriving to an alien planet such as Earth. Not all Cybertronians developed enough skills to scan decent disguises. That is why I, the MIGHTY Galvatron am here to help you. Here are a few examples of what NOT to Transform into...
Name: MO-WAR
Cause of Death: Human never replaced sparkplug and bought a riding lawn mower. Thus causing this Decepticon to be locked up in the tool shed.
A lawn mower such as this one is a bad idea if you are a bot with speed.
Although if you can figure out a way to transform and use your blade to cut up your enemies, then that's great. But can you get close enough to do any damage. Your standard height would only be about 3 or 4 feet tall.
Not much taller than a mini con in Kindergarden. Not only that, but you would have some lazy beer drinking human yanking on your cord every spring.
Name: STAYPLEER
Cause of death: the Autobot fax machine took over the process of delivering papers and the company did not need a stapler anymore.
A stapler is another bad idea to tranform into. Sure you get to shoot staples. Oh ouch.. I can feel the pain already. Ooops that staple didn't even make it across the desk you are standing on. C'mon, seriously!
A stapler? Always jamming up on humans when they are in a hurry at the office could be personal pleasure but all in all, you're still getting slammed shut every time. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
A regular bicycle. You can only be motive if you are being used by a human. And do you know what part of those filthy organic beings touch your seat??!! GROSS! Not many opportunities for weapons either.
Just a plain ol' bike. Always being stolen by a criminal mini fleshling.
Usually tossed to the ground when not in use. Or chained and locked up to any device that can have a chain wrap around it.
Name: Spokes
Cause of death: Broken spokes. (us male-bots don't even want to imagine what that is like!!)
Name: Wicker
Cause of death: Over use from a local power outage.
A candle would be good to start fires as a choice of weapon.
But with this disguise, it's a short life span. Humans take advantage of you for thier personal use of lighting in dark areas. Some freaky humans will even use your melted wax on their bodies. GROSS!!
Name: Big Brother
Cause of death: Energy overcharge.
One might think that a power line pole would be a great disguise
Especially for listening to everybodies conversations on the phone.
But you soon find out that most humans that use these phone lines are FEMALE humans who don't have any thing important for us Decepticons to listen to. But in that mode you can't move. It's also a neat fact that you can have another Transformer attached to you so you don't get lonely.
The only problem with that is they are known to explode. Causing a serious energy overcharge!
Name: Ringer Dinger
Cause of death: cell phones
This is a primitive planet and even to the civilians this style of device is also primitive. Once the cell phones hit the market these phones basically went extinct and end up in kids toy boxes or the junk yard.
So why not turn into a cell phone you ask?
Remember what happened to Frenzy in the 2007 TF movie?
Name: Triple-Haytch
Cause of death: hair ball
An electric shaver would be nice if you were creative enough to form a good type of weaponry. But just like in the middle of a shave... in the middle of a battle your batteries would die. Causing you to sit on the charger. And exactly how often do the humans clean that messy hair out of the interior anyway? GROSS!!!
Name: Shadow-Maker
Cause of death: Human loggers
This is obviously a bad idea to transform into. Need I explain?
Name: Hypnotizer
Cause of death: syndication / reruns & internet.
A TV could be a good disguise once in a while. But not a mode to keep for a long time. You can easily manipulate humans into buying unecessary products. You can give false weather reports. Play really crappy movies.
No matter what you do, the humans will constantly stare at you.
But now that Internet has become a common item in nearly every house hold, TV is basically used to play video games for hours and hours and hours. Thus, causing the TV to lose the picture tube quality and then smashed with a hammer.
feel free to add more BAD IDEAS
As all Cybertronians know, it's all about disguise when arriving to an alien planet such as Earth. Not all Cybertronians developed enough skills to scan decent disguises. That is why I, the MIGHTY Galvatron am here to help you. Here are a few examples of what NOT to Transform into...
Name: MO-WAR
Cause of Death: Human never replaced sparkplug and bought a riding lawn mower. Thus causing this Decepticon to be locked up in the tool shed.
A lawn mower such as this one is a bad idea if you are a bot with speed.
Although if you can figure out a way to transform and use your blade to cut up your enemies, then that's great. But can you get close enough to do any damage. Your standard height would only be about 3 or 4 feet tall.
Not much taller than a mini con in Kindergarden. Not only that, but you would have some lazy beer drinking human yanking on your cord every spring.
Name: STAYPLEER
Cause of death: the Autobot fax machine took over the process of delivering papers and the company did not need a stapler anymore.
A stapler is another bad idea to tranform into. Sure you get to shoot staples. Oh ouch.. I can feel the pain already. Ooops that staple didn't even make it across the desk you are standing on. C'mon, seriously!
A stapler? Always jamming up on humans when they are in a hurry at the office could be personal pleasure but all in all, you're still getting slammed shut every time. OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
A regular bicycle. You can only be motive if you are being used by a human. And do you know what part of those filthy organic beings touch your seat??!! GROSS! Not many opportunities for weapons either.
Just a plain ol' bike. Always being stolen by a criminal mini fleshling.
Usually tossed to the ground when not in use. Or chained and locked up to any device that can have a chain wrap around it.
Name: Spokes
Cause of death: Broken spokes. (us male-bots don't even want to imagine what that is like!!)
Name: Wicker
Cause of death: Over use from a local power outage.
A candle would be good to start fires as a choice of weapon.
But with this disguise, it's a short life span. Humans take advantage of you for thier personal use of lighting in dark areas. Some freaky humans will even use your melted wax on their bodies. GROSS!!
Name: Big Brother
Cause of death: Energy overcharge.
One might think that a power line pole would be a great disguise
Especially for listening to everybodies conversations on the phone.
But you soon find out that most humans that use these phone lines are FEMALE humans who don't have any thing important for us Decepticons to listen to. But in that mode you can't move. It's also a neat fact that you can have another Transformer attached to you so you don't get lonely.
The only problem with that is they are known to explode. Causing a serious energy overcharge!
Name: Ringer Dinger
Cause of death: cell phones
This is a primitive planet and even to the civilians this style of device is also primitive. Once the cell phones hit the market these phones basically went extinct and end up in kids toy boxes or the junk yard.
So why not turn into a cell phone you ask?
Remember what happened to Frenzy in the 2007 TF movie?
Name: Triple-Haytch
Cause of death: hair ball
An electric shaver would be nice if you were creative enough to form a good type of weaponry. But just like in the middle of a shave... in the middle of a battle your batteries would die. Causing you to sit on the charger. And exactly how often do the humans clean that messy hair out of the interior anyway? GROSS!!!
Name: Shadow-Maker
Cause of death: Human loggers
This is obviously a bad idea to transform into. Need I explain?
Name: Hypnotizer
Cause of death: syndication / reruns & internet.
A TV could be a good disguise once in a while. But not a mode to keep for a long time. You can easily manipulate humans into buying unecessary products. You can give false weather reports. Play really crappy movies.
No matter what you do, the humans will constantly stare at you.
But now that Internet has become a common item in nearly every house hold, TV is basically used to play video games for hours and hours and hours. Thus, causing the TV to lose the picture tube quality and then smashed with a hammer.
feel free to add more BAD IDEAS
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- Decepticon Seeker
- Posts: 1338
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2008 6:40 pm
- Location: Drinking pineapple juice while repairing the nemesis!!!
How about this
[img][img]http://i40.tinypic.com/v6khv7.jpg[/img][/img]
NAME - Trak - Tor
CAUSE OF DEATH - Take your pick, crashed into a wall sunk to the axles in a bog Etc, etc
[img][img]http://i40.tinypic.com/v6khv7.jpg[/img][/img]
NAME - Trak - Tor
CAUSE OF DEATH - Take your pick, crashed into a wall sunk to the axles in a bog Etc, etc
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- Custom Rank 4 U! Ask an Admin!
- Posts: 8745
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:00 pm
- Location: Kolkular
Restoring attempt went all wrong left at side of the road in a fit of rage...Dirge1 wrote:How about this
[img][img]http://i40.tinypic.com/v6khv7.jpg[/img][/img]
NAME - Trak - Tor
CAUSE OF DEATH - Take your pick, crashed into a wall sunk to the axles in a bog Etc, etc
"You have 30 minutes to remove your tractor or it will be cubed."
"You have 15 minutes to remove your tractor or it will be cubed."
"Your tractor has been cubed."
"You have 30 minutes to remove your cube...!"
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- Custom Rank 4 U! Ask an Admin!
- Posts: 8745
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:00 pm
- Location: Kolkular
-
- Custom Rank 4 U! Ask an Admin!
- Posts: 8745
- Joined: Wed Jul 12, 2006 12:00 pm
- Location: Kolkular