Got A Story To Tell?

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » Mon Nov 17, 2008 8:10 pm

HAHAHAHAHAA *over exersizing* HAHAHAHAHAA

Commander Megatron wrote:Al, that looks awesome!! How much would a car like that cost?

he's selling it for $35,000 US

S0und_wave · Post by **S0und_wave** » Mon Nov 17, 2008 10:40 pm

Grimlock wrote:More than likely, an arm and a leg ...........

I would say at least 2 legs and 1 arm

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 10:13 am

This one was only yesterday.

I was at a dairy farm giving the cows their check up ( This farmer thinks more of his cows health than his own ).

It came to lunchtime and I had come prepaired with an egg butty the size of a dustbin lid. We were out in the field and as it was a nice sunny day we just sat on the grass.

The next thing I heard was the farmer cursing a cow that had sat beside us, why you ask ...................

He had put his lunch ( Two cheese teacakes ) down to have a drink and the cow had eaten them ...............

Commander Megatron · Post by **Commander Megatron** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 1:16 pm

Its like being in my house wih my two kids.... You dare not put anything down or they will have it!!

Roar · Post by **Roar** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:48 pm

@Snarlock: Whats an Egg Butty? Is that like a biscuit or something?

Commander Megatron wrote:Its like being in my house wih my two kids.... You dare not put anything down or they will have it!!

Jett is the same way! She knows exactly what you're saying to her and when she's not supposed to be doing something too!

Just like a child.......or husband

Jett's thing she loves to do when she thinks you're not looking is getting on the kitchen table. Of course her daddy thinks its cute until she eats, rubs or licks on something he was going to eat.

One time I made a fruit torte and put it out on the table for the company that was coming. I made my own whipped topping with heavy whipping cream and had that setting seperate in a bowl on the table. When I walked back into the kitchen the cat was putting her paw in the bowl, licking it and putting it back in.

Those of you with cats know what I'm talking about ...that snobby gourmet touch and lick they do.

Anyway...........

Of course when the cat saw me coming it slung its paw to get the cream off of it and jumped down off the table. By the time she was done the whipping creme and the torte was ruined because she had slung the creme that was on her paw onto the torte too.

I looked at the torte and remembered Julia Child's words after she dropped a raw roast on the floor,

"Remember you are the only person in the kitchen"

I hate to tell you this but I did consider serving the torte, I had worked really hard on it and it was pretty but then I thought about the cat and things cats do.........mostly with their tongues........ and decided against it.

A while back I bought some of those mouse sticky papers to put on the table but they seemed to work more on Wes than they did the cat so I quit wasting my money.

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Thu Nov 20, 2008 6:55 pm

Snarlock: Whats an Egg Butty?

Snarlock ????????

An egg butty is a lancashire term for an egg sandwich.

This story is at the Commanders request ...

I will take you back to November 2007 when a freind of Derricks was moving house. He was moving from the big farmhouse in to the old outbarn which had been converted in to a house. Unfortunately the road to it was not finished and as such the last two hundred yards of the road was still field.

The removal men took one look and scarperd and so the only thing for it was to use the tractor and low loader trailer. What followed was hilarious.

We had conscripted all of the surrounding farmers to help, we loaded all of the furniture on to the trailer, then came the old safe.

This thing is seven feet high, four feet wide and three feet long and made out of solid steel. after three hours of trying to get it down the stairs, they took the bedroom window out and lifted it down with a loader.

Then came his piano. that came out easily. All this was piled on to the low loader. and off we went.

There were three farmers sat on the sofa, one in the armchair, one on the kitchen table and I was sat on the piano stool.

As it was a lovely day I decided to play the piano and sing a song.

So I played the piano ( badly ) and started to sing ( out of tune ) the following song :-

Ere we go, ere we go, ere we go

The sight of eight farmers sat on a trailer load of furniture, with the only woman playing the piano and singing made the local newspaper under the headline ..........

HILLBILLYS INVADE LANCASHIRE ................

Rattrap · Post by **Rattrap** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 1:31 pm

That's a great way to make the paper Grimlock, it must have been quite a sight for anyone else on the road.

Banzai-Tron · Post by **Banzai-Tron** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 3:18 pm

S0und_wave wrote:
Grimlock wrote:More than likely, an arm and a leg ...........
I would say at least 2 legs and 1 arm

You'd be amazed at how affordable cars are these days...

To get $35,000 from Labor & Industries, in Washington State, you would only have to engineer the loss of either half of your foot or your entire thumb. Just make sure you get ALL of the thumb, or you'll only end up half way to the car of your dreams.

Oh, and if you choose to go the foot route, be sure to find out if it's a stick... I imagine pusing in the clutch would be a biatch with your clubfoot.

(Incidentally, 2 legs and 1 arm would get you either $315k or a lifetime pension, whichever is greater)

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Fri Nov 21, 2008 6:01 pm

it must have been quite a sight for anyone else on the road.

We only had to go 500 yards on the road before we were turning off again, but it certainly turned some heads .........

Commander Megatron · Post by **Commander Megatron** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 4:13 am

Thanks for putting that up Grimlock!! I would have love to have seen that!!

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Sat Nov 22, 2008 6:19 am

I wish that someone had taken a photo of it, but no - one had a camera.

( Yes, Derrick had destroyed ours

)

Commander Megatron · Post by **Commander Megatron** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:15 am

WWE C.M. and R.P. style....

It was a sunny, dry day in the summer, around June I believe. Myself, Rodimu sand a few friends got together and wrestled each other. RP was like a special attraction, he came over once in a while the rest of us wrestled three or 4 matches a day every day. So Anyway, myself and Rp had just won the Tag Team Titles and were up against each other for the "Intercontinental" tiltle. The bout was fairly even, a few heavy hits on either side and then Rodimus went for his finisher....

*Intermission*
The one rule we had was that if someone bounced you off the ropes that you were open to whatever move they wanted to do and had to take it. (I always loved to do the Windmill/spinning Tombstone, dangerous as hell but always cool looking when executed properly.)

Back to our regular programming
Rodimus put me into the ropes and run up this little mound of a hill.... Let me point out that his finisher was Lex Lugers running Forearm, see what is happening now. I come back off the ropes and he is speeding towards me, to slow himself down he jumps at me.

How the hell that was ever going to slow him down I will never know.

Anyway, he dives into me and sends me a$$ over elbow. Next thing I remember is hearing the ref go "Three!!! We have a new Intercontinental Champion!" I'm lying there thinking "I hope somebody got the number of that truck!"

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:52 am

that's freakin hilarious CM!
It's a good think RP didn't take your head off with that move.

I was explaining to my mini con (who was about 10 yrs at the time)
WWE wrestling is all staged and not everything you see is real.
We went outside to the front yard and I did some fake moves on him.
He would squiggle around and act like it hurt.
Then I told him to give me a choke slam.....

As he attempted, (he could only reach up to my chest)
I jumped back and fell on my back like I just got choke slammed.

Well, all of a sudden i look up and i see him coming down with an elbow drop. Night in the Ruts!!!!!!!!

Rodimus Prime · Post by **Rodimus Prime** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 12:42 pm

Let me add to CMs story:

As I ran back towards him, I suddenly thought to myself, "crap, I'm going way too fast, I need to slow down". My thoughts pattern was to jump, but instead of allowing my natural momentum take me up, I thrusted with my legs. SMART GUY, I hear you cry. To add to the damage my forearms are kinda big and quite tough and hard near the elbow. This is exactly what connected with CMs temple. GOODNIGHT!!!

I recall our tag team finisher being a combo of the 2 characters moves together. I would start with Lexs second finisher, the torture rack, CM would come in and grab them from my shoulders and Tombstone them. OUCH!

please note, both of us now have really bad knees!! lol

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 2:01 pm

Night in the Ruts!!!!!!!!

Did you make a full recovery .........

I'm lying there thinking "I hope somebody got the number of that truck!"

Yes I did.................................. Rod - 1

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » Sun Nov 23, 2008 2:57 pm

Grimlock wrote:
Night in the Ruts!!!!!!!!
Did you make a full recovery .........

I recovered shortly after the effect

Galvatron · Post by **Galvatron** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:29 pm

My daughter brough home a book from school that her teacher gave her as a gift.

It's a nice pop up book

She sat down beside me and was showing me the book.
it got to this page...

my daughter and i nearly died laughing at the pics.
We weren't reading the story but we sort of make up our own.
To us, it appears there is a guy in the upstairs taking a crap.
Somebody is knocking on the door wanting in, and below them on the first floor is a guy shoveling a big pile of (you know what)
I was laughing so hard i was in tears.
Then i settled down long enough to read what the book had to say about this page...

WE WERE RIGHT!!!
Then the next thing i see, i couldn't believe my eyes!!!

It's a couple of TURDS dropping!!!!
dropping down from above so the poor guy below can clean it up!
Very detailed for a childrens book

Let's see if Mike Rowe from "DIRTY JOBS" would want to take on that job!

Sideways · Post by **Sideways** » Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:52 pm

LOLOL

Grimlock · Post by **Grimlock** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:37 am

Incoming .....................

Dinobot · Post by **Dinobot** » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:43 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Wow, I haven't laughed that hard in a while!!