Got A Story To Tell?

[Roar]

I've been away at a client's house all week housesitting. Two of the clients I work for has me look after their home while they are on vacation. Its a good job, I wish all of my work entailed watering a few plants and feeding a cat. They like me to look after the house because I am mostly responsible and they know I am not going to throw wild parties in the house or have the police show up for some sort of foolishness.

I hear the at me being "responsible". j/k

Anyway.............

Saturday the 14th was my last full day. Before my people left I asked if they would like for me to do some grocery shopping for them so they wouldn't have to worry about going out after they got home. They were amenable to that so off I went when the time came.

I went to Harris Teeter on Stratford Road and there was a couple in the doorway asking where The Fresh Market was. Being nosy as usual I asked if they were out of town and they said they were. They had Northern accents I swear the man of the couple sounded like Tracks! No kidding! I thought it was cool though! Well........while I was being nosy.....there were other people standing in the doorway trying to help the couple too.

Being out of towners they couldn't digest all of the information giving.... take a lefts, go under two stoplights and then go rights and then you'll get to Robinhood Road and go straight until you see a KFC must have been confusing ....especially given in a slowish southern drawl.

I proudly have a little one . Those poor people! They probably felt like visitors from another planet being greeted by a hoard of well meaning but un-intelligable natives.

Well everyone pretty much departed after the couple had taken down instructions/directions on the back of a sales circular from six different people.

I saw the scribbles and I really wasn't too confident in their chances of reaching their destination. Then I thought if this were someone I loved I'd want someone to help them.

So........

I hadn't done any of my shopping in the store yet and I was afraid that they would get lost and wind up in East Winston so I offered to lead them to where they wanted to go.

Oh....and before I move on with the story.......


For those of you who probably don't know (or give an energon poop) The fresh Market is an upscaleish grocery chain that caters to gourmands and sells a lot of bulk items like sesame seed sticks and carried exotic candies etc. Classical music is played in the background I guess so you'll feel sophisticated buying a $5.99 a pound roasted free range chicken with rosemary slathered all over it instead of taken advantage of.

I digress..........

I offered to lead them to the store and they took me up on it. After a meandering 20 minute trek through the darkest reaches of Buena Vista and Ardmore (Hoity toity doctor/lawyer/banker houses section) we got to Robinhood Road and The Fresh Market.

It was a good opportunity to buy my father some of those heartburn cultivating teriyaki stained rice crackers he loves so much as a partial Father's Day gift too.

So.......I get out my car and notice that the couple is from Florida. I asked them what part and they said Kissimmee.

I immediately thought of you, Trance, being a Floridian and asked if they knew you. They said no, that Florida was a fairly large state. I of course followed that up with "Well that was a dumb thing for me to ask!" They were extremely nice and said "Don't worry about it people ask that all the time!"

Okay I walked into that one........

Anyway they wanted to know why I knew someone from Florida and I proudly said "Well...that's where I buy my Transformers toys from- Transformerland.com." The man and woman laughed and said "They don't have Transformers toys here in North Carolina?" I replied, "No, not good ones!"

Then the man got out a wad of money that could choke Unicron and offered me two twenties and a ten dollar bill for taking them to the store. He said with a large smile, "Here... buy yourself a nice Transformer on us!" I didn't accept the money of course...do unto others you know. They thanked me and the woman took my arm and we went inside. Frankly.......I had a ball with the man's wife! She and I walked all over the store shopping, talking about their trip to Banner Elk and about how men never ask for directions.

(waits for the laser blasts)

The wife named Jillian husband Ed gave me their e-mail address and told me that if I were ever going to be in the Kissimmee area to let them know and I would have a place to stay.

Can you believe that?

That was pretty much he highlight of my week other than being bitten by a spider while watering plants. I'm pretty sure the spider died right after.

I have another good story I'll tell another time involving The Fresh Market when it was at Thruway shopping center a few years ago. It envolves me acting like a blithering idiot meeting Maya Angelou the first time and a Corvette.

[Arcee]

Great story! Hitting it off with total strangers like that is always a nice high. As for the next story--meeting an author + corvettes? I definitely want to hear that one.

That was pretty much he highlight of my week other than being bitten by a spider while watering plants.

Can you websling now?

[Roar]

Great story! Hitting it off with total strangers like that is always a nice high. As for the next story--meeting an author + corvettes? I definitely want to hear that one.

It was something to remember! I want to get some pictures of Ms. Angelou's house first before I tell that one!


Arcee said because I accidentally deleted the quote thingy: bitten by a spider while watering plants. Can you websling now?

No unfortunately but I have eaten a couple of flies. Does that count?

[queen_lynxana]

Then the man got out a wad of money that could choke Unicron and offered me two twenties and a ten dollar bill for taking them to the store. He said with a large smile, "Here... buy yourself a nice Transformer on us!" I didn't accept the money of course...do unto others you know. They thanked me and the woman took my arm and we went inside.

(waits for the laser blasts)

queen_lynxana taps claws on desk, thinks for a moment and runs her fingers over her gun....then decides on another way...another method of teaching......

YOU BAKA!!!! I'll give a cookie to anyone that can tell me what "baka" means in English

queen_lynxana smacks Roar upsides the head

You turned down $50...hang your head in shame.....you are no empress! A nice person, but no empress. Ugh, sure I have Thundera to take care of but now I have to take care of Plundarr now because you can't take $50?

Just kidding

[Minerva]

*wants cookie* 'Baka' could be translated into 'idiot' if I'm not mistaken ^.^

[queen_lynxana]

*wants cookie* 'Baka' could be translated into 'idiot' if I'm not mistaken ^.^

That is absolutely correct!

*queen_lynxana hands Minerva a cookie

"Baka" is Japanese for "idiot" I watch a lot of anime (because I have no life ROFL) so you hear that word all the time. I prefer the Japanese versions with English subtitles because they don't edit anything. Another word you hear all the time in anime shows is the word "pervert"

I'll give another cookie to the one that can tell me the Japanese word for "pervert"

[Ramjet]

Is Galvatron Japanese for pervert by any chance?

[Galvatron]

hahahaha

GIGGITY?

[Roar]

*wants cookie* 'Baka' could be translated into 'idiot' if I'm not mistaken ^.^

The Baka are also an ancient tribe of peoples living in the rainforests of Africa. The song "Sweet Lullabye" by Deep Forest highlights their language which is slowly dying.

It ain't gonna' be found in Galvatron's song of the day probably.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vvnVdMpgQOk

[Minerva]

*queen_lynxana hands Minerva a cookie

"Baka" is Japanese for "idiot" I watch a lot of anime (because I have no life ROFL) so you hear that word all the time. I prefer the Japanese versions with English subtitles because they don't edit anything. Another word you hear all the time in anime shows is the word "pervert"

I'll give another cookie to the one that can tell me the Japanese word for "pervert"

Yes! *With mouth full of cookie* Do I get another one if I get that one right too?

Anyway, I've watched a lot of anime as well, and I also prefer the subtitled versions. I haven't really watched any tf in japanese though, so I have no idea about those...

[Sideways]

Baka is a very over-used word.

[Roar]

Well I went to the grocery store today and caught a man stuffing styrofoam trays of steaks down the back of his pants in the paper towel/toilet paper aisle.

Anyway it was just odd! There wasn't anyone around except me and the man and I just kind of stumbled onto the scene and looked at him funny.

It took a moment but it dawned on me what he truly was up to. I told him he should be ashamed of himself and that stealing wasn't worth it. He blurted out "I'm not doin' anything!" Well being a smart aleck I said "Oh, so you're just Beep-ing steaks? Good thing there's toilet paper nearby!"

Two store stockers on the other aisle heard the exchange, confuscated the steaks, threw the guy out and told him not to come back.

Then the stockboys put the steaks back in the meat case!!!!!!!!!!

Who wants meat thats been down a man's pants...anyone's pants? Especially around the behind region...any region? *shudders*

Anyway.........

The manager said that they don't call the police for things like that because they don't want their employees tied up with court appearences over theft. I said that they better throw that meat away or I was calling the health board and I meant it. They did.

Food Lion The mark of quality.

Anyway.........

I'm glad they didn't call the cops on the guy but he shouldn't have been stealing either. I don't know its been an odd day.

[Dinobot]

What a strange thing to stumble upon. Its kinda funny once you think about it, and I bet there's a giggity about meat coming. I went to a big lots store one time and a guy was shaving in the aisle of toiletries. Very awkward seeing that!

[Roar]

What a strange thing to stumble upon. Its kinda funny once you think about it, and I went to a big lots store one time and a guy was shaving in the aisle of toiletries. Very awkward seeing that!

Shaving as in foam and all? I hope he didn't forget to do his legs!

What is wrong with people? I used to think all the strange things people do were isolated incidents but people are crazy everywhere! I think there is something in the water!

I bet there's a giggity about meat coming.

Probably! Of course Galvatron is like a cat..... he won't do something we find cute if he knows we're watching him.

[Arcee]

I said "Oh, so you're just Beep-ing steaks? Good thing there's toilet paper nearby!"

LOL!!! Omg, I nearly choked there. That is hysterical/messed up!! Stuff like that never happens to me (though I suppose I'm grateful there).

Then the stockboys put the steaks back in the meat case!!!!!

OMG. Are you frickin' serious? That is AWFUL. I'm glad you threatened them into throwing it out. Unbelievable. Just think, if you hadn't witnessed it, some poor sucker could be eating butt steaks for dinner right now... *throws up a little*

[Hot Shot]

So...What you are saying is the guy was packing some "Meat"

That is just wrong.....What kind of steaks were they?

tube steak

Wait till Galvatron gets a hold of this one....

[Cliffjumper]

hahahahahaha omg this is great stuff
thats the strangest story i ever heard I think both of them

[Dinobot]

OMG. Are you frickin' serious? That is AWFUL. I'm glad you threatened them into throwing it out. Unbelievable. Just think, if you hadn't witnessed it, some poor sucker could be eating butt steaks for dinner right now... *throws up a little*

Hahahaha!

[Roar]

Okay....I promised another story as a follow up to the first Fresh Market story.

First some back story.............

I used to work for a woman named Jayne Brown and she was as crazy as a mouse in a tin toilet! If you worked there for any amount of time....... odds are you'd be accused of stealing something from her.


Even I was accused....... but Jayne liked people who didn't put up with her special brand of doo doo so when she asked me if I had taken anything form her I frankly told her she didn't have anything I wanted and she questioned my honor by even thinking I was a thief and I offered to quit! After a couple of days went by jayne apologized and I went back to work for her.

There wre very few people who could deal with her so I was usually the ill omens messenger for the rest ofthe house staff.

I worked there for 13 years before she passed away. She was difficult and had her moments at times but I am sorry she's gone too.

Anyway.......

Jayne lived at the bottom of Bartram Place Road, coincidentally where poet laureate Maya Angelou's house is. I well know where it is because I had to pass the house everyday to get to work.

Wake Forest University hired Ms./Dr. Angelou a few years ago and she teaches a literature course there. The class is rumored to be once a year and it is extremely difficult to get into.





Every time Jayne had a party she would use the following instructions

"Get to Bartram Road then you'll see an Ugly BEEP House, turn left at the ugly BEEP house and follow the road all the way down etc."

Since Jayne's death the fence and house has since been re-painted from its former periwinkle blue to the yellow you see now. The neighbors gave her a lot of trouble when she bought this Winston-Salem residence to get the home painted and they wouldn't leave her alone so this was her revenge.

Painting her house the ugliest colors she could find.

I love her for it too!

Anyway one day I was out in Jett by myself cruising Stratford Road one of my favorite haunts. This is when gas wasn't 4.00 a gallon.

I would usually stop at Thruway shopping center, go to The Fresh Market and buy a Stewart's grape soda along with a dollar's worth of trolli brite sour crawlers (gummi worms) and enjoy the smell of coffee, herbs and all the other delicious scents the store had to offer while the air conditioning cooled me. I loved it!

Well one day I went into the store and there was a big honking late 1970's Cadillac limousine parked in the loading zone. I didn't think much about it because Thruway is in the "rich" section of town and you're liable to see Rolls Royces and Bentleys parked around there amongst the Jeeps and other make cars.

The first parking space in front of the store was empty and when that space was empty you just took it instinctually because it was rare to ever be empty.

Kind of like being the first vulture on a carcass.

Well after I had gotten my store sniff, classical music fix, drink and candy I went to the register to pay for my everything and I noticed a very well dressed African-American lady sitting on a stool holding a cane in front of the manager's office.

I got my change and watched people file in and out of the office whispering and the I gather manager doing all but kissing the lady's behind. I get my keys out and look one last look at the lady ready to leave when I notice who she is.

Stupid fangirl moment in three, two one........

I just opened my mouth wide! I know I had to have looked like a total nutter...well worse than usual!

I walked up to her and I said, "Do you know who you are?"

Ms. Angelou was very cool! She was very gracious while she laughed and extended her hand for me to shake. She said, "Yes I am that woman Oprah knows! What would you like to know about her?"

Well I blurted out, "Nothing! I want to know about you!"

Ms. Angelou laughed really loudly and the store staff began toting her groceries out. I took a moment to tell her what a great artist I though she was, that I really did know why the caged bird sang and she nodded and told me to have a blessed day. I shook her hand a last time and left as a tall man helped her get up off the stool.

While I was outside I was packing things into the accessory compartments of the Corvette. There are two (one is for the battery) and you have to bend down to reach every one of them.

Behind me I hear, "Is that yours?"

I turned around and it was Ms. Angelou. "I said, "Yes, Ma'am." Ms. Angelou walked around to the passenger's side of the door and said,

"Tom, this girl is going to take me for a ride, please follow!"

I about pooped myself!

Ms. Angelou asked "Where are we going?" I just said "Wherever you want to go, Ma'am!" After Ms. Angelou navagated herself into the passenger seat (with help) and figured out the seat belt she said, "Call me Maya!" I said, "Yes, Ma'am." She said, "Stop that!"

Well after I got the car started Ms. Angelou asked, "If it were you by yourself where would you be going?" I told her about my crusing loop so that is where we went.

I took her on a loop through Stratford Road and back to Thruway. We talked very little because the engine on that car is so loud you can't hear yourself think much less someone else and when you're moving the wind drowns out the rest of the noise. At the lights I looked at people and tried to not pay any attention to the people staring. I told Ms. Angelou that I would try not to embarass her and she said "Wave! You're famous now too!"

Well the limousine followed us all the way through all my U-turns and I made it back to Thruway where we started. It took about 10 minutes to do the entire loop. When I turned the engine off I told her I sure wished I had something of hers for her to sign. She offered to sign the dash of my car but I told her that I loved her and her work very much but I didn't want her to sign my dash.

Ms. Angelou got out a piece of paper and insisted I write my address down. I asked why and she said I would see.

I went home and told Westley what had happened he thought that the story was "The lie of the week"

Each one of us for years have told the other a tall tale to see if we can get the other to believe it.

But.............

This tall tale was true and he refused to believe me! He said "Well why didn't you have her write her autograph on a piece of paper? Better yet buy a disposable camera at Eckers and take her picture?"

Well you just don't ask someone like that to "wait here for a minit" to go buy a camera or to write their name on a piece of paper just to prove to someone that they really met someone!

He would have said I forged Maya's name anyway.

Well months passed and I had pretty much forgotten about my brush with literary fame when I got a parcel in the mail with no return address. I opened it and got this.......




A signed to me first edition copy of "I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings"

I took it out of its case to get pictures of it and to say to Wes, "Here's the book from the famous woman I never met!"

I tell you that was something else and a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a moment with someone like that! It was even sweeter in that she would be generous enough to give a few moments of her time to a complete stranger and make them feel special! I don't know of many people who have been truly famous like she has who would do something like that!

[Hot Shot]

Great story Roar....isn't it nice to meet one of your idols/heros and find out that they are nice...not stuck-up, full of themselves Jerks. Now you have a great story that you can tell and it makes you smile to tell it