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 Post subject: Joke of the day
PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 7:38 pm 
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Nuclear Nemesis
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Since we have a song of the day thread, I thought it would be nice to have a joke of the day too... :D

Obviously, keep it PG within the usual site rules...

I personally like dark/harsh humour, so I'll begin with this little gem that cracked me up when I heard it in a pub not long ago (I hope it doesn't offend anyone :oops: );

What did Saddam Hussein and Little Miss Muffet both have in common?

They both had curds in their whey... :wink:


ZING! :lol: :lol:

who else has a chuckler?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 9:19 pm 
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LOL! That's terrible!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:27 pm 
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Hilarious, but a catch 22.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:16 am 
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hahaha thats funny :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 5:46 am 
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little mean but funny none the less

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:29 am 
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Nuclear Nemesis
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:oops: :twisted:

yeah, I know it's one of those that makes you laugh, but you kinda think you shouldn't... those are my favourite types of jokes :lol:

It's a clever play on words is all.... I think the British sense of humour is inherantly twisted :twisted:

Something more gentle for today, perhaps?

A man left the snowballed streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail.

Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory. Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor out cold.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Husband.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:47 am 
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ROTFLMAO!!! That was excellent!! I am going to tell everyone that one. LOL!!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 12:57 pm 
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That was a good one Sunny! :lol: I wish I knew some clean jokes to share! :(

Galvatron? :D :twisted: :wink:


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 1:57 pm 
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Galvatron doesn't know anything clean!! I think he gets mud baths for heavens sake!! There is the joke about the sponge but I don't think we would get away with it Galvatron. LOL!!

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:39 pm 
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While trawling through youtube I remembered this joke that Dave Allen told. I found it absolutely hilarious its on for a while but stick with it because it is so true at the end.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MS5P6GcUC4s

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:36 pm 
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lol - that's a great clip CM... I love how it's told so well, he doesn't have to say what the child is saying, you just know from his responses and you can fill in the gaps yourself. Very clever comedy :lol:

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 9:01 pm 
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LOL


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 6:16 am 
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LOL! That's hilarious, Sunstorm! XD

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2008 5:17 pm 
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Nuclear Nemesis
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Here's todays giggler for you - quite relevant at the moment :wink:

Bill Clinton is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stands up and offers that, "If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy."

"No," Clinton says, "That would be an ACCIDENT."

A girl raises her hand. "If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside...that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explains Clinton. "That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS."

The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.

"What?" asks Clinton, "Isn't there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: "If an airplane carrying Bill and Hillary Clinton was blown up by a bomb, *that* would be a tragedy."

"Wonderful!" Clinton beams. "Marvelous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn't be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!"

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 6:39 am 
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LOL! Also a good one! Where do you get these anyway? XD

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:51 am 
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Nuclear Nemesis
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Some I hear from friends/colleagues, some I heard a long time ago (the saddam one :D ) and some are sent via e-mail from a jokes website and every now and again, there's a real good one... (I wish I could tell my true favourites, but they're either too rude or too harsh for a forum like this, you just never know if you'll offend someone :oops: so it's best not to tell them... harsh/sick jokes are my absolute favourites, I don't know why :lol: )

So, here's todays! (hope you like this one CM :wink: )

"An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finished all three, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender says to him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we all drank together."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.

One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."

The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "They're both fine and well - I've just quit drinking!"

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:05 am 
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That is excellent Sunstorm. LOL!!!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:06 am 
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HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is great!!!!!!!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 7:54 pm 
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Nuclear Nemesis
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Here's a great one for you;

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2008 9:10 pm 
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha :lol: :lol: :lol: omg you have some good jokes Sunstorm keep em coming :D

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