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PostPosted: Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:57 pm 
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Delicate, Loveable Dinobot
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Location: Enjoying my life.
Quote:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, but she does.


:shock: :cry:

Not true

At least, I hope not :lol:

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ME GRIMLOCK WANT TO MUNCH METAL


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:50 pm 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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:evil:


Last edited by ghostinthemachine on Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:52 pm 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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Grimlock wrote:
Quote:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting her not to change, but she does.


:shock: :cry:

Not true

At least, I hope not :lol:


Well that depends how many times have you been married i have been married 3 times i know first had that its true


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:54 pm 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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:evil:


Last edited by ghostinthemachine on Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 2:55 pm 
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Decepticon Seeker
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Location: Drinking pineapple juice while repairing the nemesis!!!
she knows i wont change and i know she wont change

we know each other inside out thats why we get on so well

and we both couldnt really care less about the future as long as we got each other itll be ok

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 4:57 pm 
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Decepticon Communications Officer
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Location: New York
:lol: you have allot of joke books

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Last edited by S0und_wave on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:32 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 9:14 am 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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:evil:


Last edited by ghostinthemachine on Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 07, 2009 11:35 am 
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Aerial Lord Of Destruction
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:41 am 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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:evil:


Last edited by ghostinthemachine on Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 12:45 pm 
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Custom Rank 4 U! Ask an Admin!
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I'll never use a coffee machine again!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 1:07 pm 
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Decepticon Seeker
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Location: Drinking pineapple juice while repairing the nemesis!!!
i never do anyway :P

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:01 pm 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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lol me either


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 3:03 pm 
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A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.'

So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The mother replied, 'Of=2 0course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!'

The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

The girl replied, 'Oh my Gawd! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?'

The boy then went to his brother and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?'

'Of course,' the brother replied. 'Do you know what a million bucks would buy?'

The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.


His father asked him, 'Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?'

The boy replied, 'Yes, 'Potentially', you and I are sitting on three million dollars .

But 'realistically', we're living with two hookers and a homo


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 20, 2009 5:51 pm 
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Micromaster Commander
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Location: Micro Iacon
Ha ha ha!!! That was funny!

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 7:18 pm 
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A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to
break something, but the boy continues.

'Johnny!' Mom screams. 'Knock it off.' You're going to break something.
He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center.

Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it.

Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery gets the urge, A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.

When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing.
She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything.

When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.

'Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?' she asks.

He says, 'I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !'


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:29 am 
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Posts: 712
A Missouri Wife

Three men married wives from different states.

The first man married a woman from Michigan . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from Alabama . He gave his wife orders
that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Missouri . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for
every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 10:32 am 
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Aerial Supreme Commander

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Posts: 712
A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.

Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.

He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?'

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 16, 2009 5:47 pm 
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Gestalt Team Leader
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Location: Italy,southern europe
Funny :lol: !


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 4:00 pm 
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Powermaster
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Ghostinthemachine a classic easter joke! nice.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 12:59 am 
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Gestalt Warrior
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Posts: 378
Location: Oklahoma
Two southern belles were sitting on a porch swing and chatting when the first says " See those acres and acres of Kentucky bluegrass, when my daddy dies and goes to heaven he's leaving me all of that"

The second respondes " My, my, how fine."

"And do you see this big Plantation mansion here? When my daddy dies and goes to heaven he's leaving me it as well!"

The second respondes "My, my, how fine."

"And look at all those handsome thoughobreds out their, when my daddy dies and goes to heaven I'll get them as well."

Again the other says " My, my, how fine."

"So what did your daddy ever do for you?"

"Well he sent me to an exclusive finishing school."

"What good did that do you?" the first asked.

"It taught me to say My, my how fine instead of F**k you, B***h!

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