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Chuck Norris
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 5:07 pm
by Shockwave
Any of you ever look up the Chuck Norris Facts and jokes? I think there kinda funny. One I like is..Chuck Norris dosen't sleep he waits. Or Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer,but Chuck Norris dosen't cry.
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:12 pm
by Brawn
that is funny. i have seen that stuff before. i wonder who started the whole chuck norris as superman campaign though. he was bad ass back in the day. the octagon, missing in action, and lone wolf mcCade (?) to name a few.
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:15 pm
by Shockwave
Fist of Fury when he fought Bruce Lee.
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:26 pm
by Octane
One time, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke light speed, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart over the Pacific ocean.
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 7:55 pm
by Dinobot
Chuck Norris is the only one who can go to Mcdonalds and order a Whopper, and get one.
Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:28 pm
by Shockwave
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick you in the back of the face.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 6:53 am
by Ironhide
Chuck Norris once counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
I love these jokes!
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:13 am
by Shockwave
If Chuck Norris had five dollars,and you had five dollars Chuck Norris would still have more money. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris once won a game of connect four with three moves.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:26 am
by Octane
Chuck Norris peed in a can once....now they call it Red Bull.
If Chuck Norris jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris.
One time, Chuck Norris won a game of Russian Roulette with a fully-loaded gun.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:24 am
by Ramjet
Oh no you didn't.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listen to a song.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Whoever said "only the good die young" was probably in Chuck Norris's kindergarten class.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 11:38 am
by Octane
The dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck Norrisaurus.
Who was the first person to cry because of Chuck Norris? The doctor who delivered him (you do not slap Chuck Norris.)
Chuck Norris' tears are the cure for cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 12:12 pm
by Ultra Magnus
Pfft.
Before Chuck Norris feels safe going to bed at night, he has to check under the bed for Bruce Campbell.
Click here if you are man enough to find out the truth about the chin.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 1:53 pm
by Ironhide
Ultra Magnus wrote:
Before Chuck Norris feels safe going to bed at night, he has to check under the bed for Bruce Campbell.
Hail to the king, baby.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 2:16 pm
by Octane
funny you should mention him, my sig on here used to say "good? bad? I'm the guy with the gun!"
gimme some sugar, baby
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 4:17 pm
by Blackjack
So I really don't buy into any of these silly things. Also I a little ashamed that you put up that thing about Bruce Campbell. It is a rip-off of Chuck Norris facts and not terribly clever at that. Back in the day there were also Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Strange that Chuck Norris is the only one that caught on.
This said I do like a couple of the Chuck Norris facts. My favorite being:
Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because nobody fools Chuck Norris.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:08 pm
by Rocktimus Prime
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 7:58 pm
by Ultra Magnus
Blackjack wrote:So I really don't buy into any of these silly things. Also I a little ashamed that you put up that thing about Bruce Campbell. It is a rip-off of Chuck Norris facts and not terribly clever at that. Back in the day there were also Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Strange that Chuck Norris is the only one that caught on.
This said I do like a couple of the Chuck Norris facts. My favorite being:
Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because nobody fools Chuck Norris.
90% of Bruce Campbell facts are in regards to his chin. Not really the same beast.
Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2009 8:44 pm
by Octane
Blackjack wrote:So I really don't buy into any of these silly things. Also I a little ashamed that you put up that thing about Bruce Campbell. It is a rip-off of Chuck Norris facts and not terribly clever at that. Back in the day there were also Vin Diesel and Mr. T facts. Strange that Chuck Norris is the only one that caught on.
Vin Diesel? I mean, I can understand Mr. T...but Vin Diesel?
Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 3:17 am
by Computron
Best one ever -
Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris-
-robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons
and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided into two.
Posted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 11:11 am
by Dinobot
That was a good one Comp!