MoonFall(2022)- Maggy's Movie Reviews

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Ultra Magnus
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MoonFall(2022)- Maggy's Movie Reviews

Post by Ultra Magnus »

Interested in the new Roland Emmerich film? Hopefully only ironically so. So, let's look at this stinker, and see what it has to offer.

As previously implied, this is not a good movie. But, most of it is "So bad it is good." What did they get right? Miraculously, the gravitational trajectory mathematics. I am no expert in this field, but I did some double checking within my frame of knowledge.... and it fucking checks out!!!! What else? Well.... The intrepid Redneck murder squad chasing the children of the astronauts saving the earth? No, I did not make that up. Yes.... that is the best thing I have to offer, and... yeah, it is as dumb as it sounds.

So, what is the plot of the movie? A burned out, washed up, failure of an astronaut.... his wacky conspiracy theorist scientist friend... and his former navigator (now head of NASA) have to climb into a space shuttle (fresh from a museum exhibit and short an engine), and launch that sumbitch to the moon during a hurricane while trying to dodge a tidal wave. Because if they do not.... the swarm of alien nanobots are going to crash the moon into the earth. Could it have been a good story... maybe? Is it? Fuck no. If you are hoping for Armageddon, you are not craving enough melodrama. What keeps it from being good, other than the dialogue, the plot, the constant Elon Musk blow jobs? The fact that every time the movie starts to make a tiny bit of progress towards handling the problem, we have to cut back to the kids running from the intrepid redneck murder squad because they were sent off on their own instead of with the evacuating soldiers....
Yeah.

You will get sick of the kids, you will get sick of the astronauts, you will get sick of this whole damn thing. But, you will laugh the entire time. Not at what is intended to be the jokes. You will be laughing at how Roland thought this was a good idea.

It is a "see in the theater" kind of film. But, you really shouldn't.
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