The Lost City (2022)-Maggy's Movie Reviews

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The Lost City (2022)-Maggy's Movie Reviews

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Have you ever seen Romancing the Stone? Have you ever wondered what would happen if they took that movie and made it completely vapid? Well, here is a movie that answers the question!

This Sandra Bullock film takes a widowed romance adventure writer and puts her into a plot similar to the books she writes. The conceit of the movie is that her late husband was an archeologist that was the leading expert in a culture you will never have heard of before, mainly because it was made up for the film. Since he died, she is the only one familiar with his work, and thus is kidnapped in order to obtain her help in finding "Fortune and Glory."

When this happens, the man that is the cover model for here books, played by Channing Tatum, takes it upon himself to rescue her. He is clueless, and pampered, and is basically more of a puppy dog along for the ride than a help in any way.

The evil mastermind is played by Daniel Radcliffe. His character is basically one of Rupert Murdoch's sons. The performance is spoiled rich kid that throws tantrums.

And there are about 6 comic relief characters in addition to this.

To give you a sense of the humor, the book that was most recently released from Bullock's character was named "The Lost City of the D." The set up for the joke is that European settlers could not pronounce the 53 syllable name that starts with "D" so they just called it "The D." So, there are about forty jokes about "being on 'the D." Get it???? Do you get it? That is a hint at a dick joke. That makes it funny!!!

The plot is very much based on "and this happens, and that happens, and then this happens." The performances are fine. The writing is meh. The actions scenes last roughly 20 seconds each if that long at all. The entire thing is just sort of "well, that was completely forgettable." The only people that laughed at the "jokes" in a half full theater were a two 60+ year old ladies. I am glad they were there, because I was bored out of my mind the entire time. Had I not heard only those to women laugh ever, I would be asking who this movie was made to entertain. Now I know. Older women that like slightly innuendoed hints at dirty jokes that would be considered completely cringe in any other setting.

Look, there is nothing wrong with the movie. It is inoffensive. It is hard not to think that the message of the movie is supposed to be "See, spoiled rich folk are just like us!" It is a cut together paint by numbers copy of the movie mentioned above (Romancing the Stone), with less adventure, less in the way of making you want to give a damn, and less of a reason to laugh.

My recommendation for watching this movie is very specific. If you are having your first "Netflix and Chill" with a young lady, and are not completely sure what she finds entertaining, put this on. It will not offend, and will absolutely not in any way distract from the chill part of the Netflix and Chill. There is just enough sexiness to get the hint of an idea in your date's head, but not enough for them to be upset by content if they are easily offended.

There is a great cameo by Brad Pitt, but even that just shows how sad the rest of the film is.

Expect a film that may make you exhale slightly harder, but won't make you laugh.

Other than that, wait for basic cable, but do not let it prevent you from cutting the cord before that happens.

I normally would encourage comments and questions at this point, but honestly, I will probably forget I have seen this movie by the time anyone responds.

(Just to let you know how true that is, I meant to post this review a week and a half ago, and even said I would in my last review that I copied and pasted here. I forgot to even remember to go to the trouble until I went to see if I remembered to copy and paste my Morbius review. Spoiler for the movie about the Marvel Living Vampire... it sucks!)
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