Uck, a little vomit crawled up the back of my throat when I read that.Ultra Magnus wrote:If I say hand me a Kleenex, just gimme the d*** tissue, or I will wipe my boogers onto your sofa.
U.M.'s gripe of the day
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Ultra Magnus
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Ultra Magnus
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Ok, Monday's make up gripe.
Lemonny Snicket
A couple of years ago on Christmas we went to a movie as we always do. That year was for Lemony Snickett's a series of unfortunate events. The minicons enjoyed it, and I could tell at the heart of the film, there was a particularly witty writer. The actors were obviously overpaid (Jim Carry, Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep, etc... the kids were fantastic), and seemingly killed what could have been otherwise a pretty decent franchise, but it was enjoyable enough as a flick.
I will usually read anything that I can put my hands on, so I went ahead and bought the first book in what I found out to be the first in a series of 13. The first one was extremely clever, and though a bit childish (as it was written for children), it was quite a decent read. So I picked up the second and third, and finished what had been made into the movie. Well, that is where I should hav ended it.
From there I went ahead and just bought the rest of the set (at the time that got me to #11). Well, some of them were decent, some absolutely dreadful, and a couple of them were passingly ok. The writing had definitely gone downhill. There were more mysteries popping up in each and quite a few unresolved subplots left behind, but questions were being answered, in their own time.
When book 12 came out, it had a lot of the spirit of the first three, and even though there were about 83 unanswered questions the end was near, and everything would be resolved soon!
I was such a fool.
Book 13 came out, nd answered three new questions that were brought up in the book, but pretty much nothing else. The kids in the book were in far worse straights at the end of this book then at the end of pretty much any other one. There was no resolution to there story, or anyone else's.
I actually felt dumber for having read the final installment. I felt let down by the author, who could turn a phrase better than any other clever bastitch I have ever met. He wasted my time and money, and crashed my hopes.
Yes I know that these were books written for pre-teens to early teens, but this guy just seemed to say, "Well, if they aren't going to make a movie out of these, I might as well take a nap."
I even went so far as to try another book by the author under his real name, Daniel Handler, which was aimed at a more adult market. It was called Shut Your Mouth. Though it was clever, and was narrated in the manner of an opera script, it included quite a few tastless items such as incest to name one.
The man is just a sick freak, and I have promptly locked the books away (for the first time in my life I actually considered burning a book), so that my kids will not get the chance to read them.
I just hope there is a special wing in hell devoted to Daniel/Lemony, as I truly belive that the reason for him writing these "children's books" was to lure some kids into the back of his van.
He is a perverted sickko freak.
Lemonny Snicket
A couple of years ago on Christmas we went to a movie as we always do. That year was for Lemony Snickett's a series of unfortunate events. The minicons enjoyed it, and I could tell at the heart of the film, there was a particularly witty writer. The actors were obviously overpaid (Jim Carry, Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep, etc... the kids were fantastic), and seemingly killed what could have been otherwise a pretty decent franchise, but it was enjoyable enough as a flick.
I will usually read anything that I can put my hands on, so I went ahead and bought the first book in what I found out to be the first in a series of 13. The first one was extremely clever, and though a bit childish (as it was written for children), it was quite a decent read. So I picked up the second and third, and finished what had been made into the movie. Well, that is where I should hav ended it.
From there I went ahead and just bought the rest of the set (at the time that got me to #11). Well, some of them were decent, some absolutely dreadful, and a couple of them were passingly ok. The writing had definitely gone downhill. There were more mysteries popping up in each and quite a few unresolved subplots left behind, but questions were being answered, in their own time.
When book 12 came out, it had a lot of the spirit of the first three, and even though there were about 83 unanswered questions the end was near, and everything would be resolved soon!
I was such a fool.
Book 13 came out, nd answered three new questions that were brought up in the book, but pretty much nothing else. The kids in the book were in far worse straights at the end of this book then at the end of pretty much any other one. There was no resolution to there story, or anyone else's.
I actually felt dumber for having read the final installment. I felt let down by the author, who could turn a phrase better than any other clever bastitch I have ever met. He wasted my time and money, and crashed my hopes.
Yes I know that these were books written for pre-teens to early teens, but this guy just seemed to say, "Well, if they aren't going to make a movie out of these, I might as well take a nap."
I even went so far as to try another book by the author under his real name, Daniel Handler, which was aimed at a more adult market. It was called Shut Your Mouth. Though it was clever, and was narrated in the manner of an opera script, it included quite a few tastless items such as incest to name one.
The man is just a sick freak, and I have promptly locked the books away (for the first time in my life I actually considered burning a book), so that my kids will not get the chance to read them.
I just hope there is a special wing in hell devoted to Daniel/Lemony, as I truly belive that the reason for him writing these "children's books" was to lure some kids into the back of his van.
He is a perverted sickko freak.
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Ultra Magnus
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I am serious, when I read the one that he wrote under his own name, I really wanted to be sick. I finished the book, hoping there would be a severe punishment for those that were doing wrong, but there was nothing. I am sure that he is hiding under the banner of "art", but it was not enjoyable to say the least.
I try to read many varied types of writing, even those classified as children's books, because I feel that there is something to learn from almost anything, but this guy has taken the cake as someone whom should never be allowed near a pen, pencil, crayon, word processor or even his own defecation, for fear that he may be able to write again.
I try to read many varied types of writing, even those classified as children's books, because I feel that there is something to learn from almost anything, but this guy has taken the cake as someone whom should never be allowed near a pen, pencil, crayon, word processor or even his own defecation, for fear that he may be able to write again.
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Ultra Magnus
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Okay, Tuesday's make-up gripe!
Why do special limited edition or exclusive toys always come in multipack with the toys you will already have?
Before I start down this road, let me say that for the most part, Transformers seemingly are innocent of this, unless you count those Botcon packs I will never get my hands on anyway.
So, in my home, we have no less than 8 seperate Supermn figures, 12 Batman figures, 2 Wonder Women (these from the Justice league collection), 7 Robins, 4 Cyborgs, 3 Ravens, 3 Beast Boys, 3 Starfires (from Teen Titans), and countless Spidermen.
Did my boys want all of these figures? Well, they don't mind having them, as it encourages certain figures to remain somewhat pristine, while others start to receive varying degrees of battle damage. However, the nly way that way could get other figures were to buy the same igures we already had in order to receive a new figure that was previously unreleased. For instance, if we wanted to get the Puppet King from the Teen Titans, he only came with yet another Robin. As the Teen Titans were initially released with only one bad guy, it was the only way to start evening the playing field, or to have more challenges for the team.
Of course this could also be compounded with the fact that in certain toy lines, they will make an extremely limited amount of a certain figure to increase collectability. Quite often this is the most sought after figures. For instance the second Snake Eyes figure from G.I.Joe (the one with the wolf), and from Star Wars Episode 1 Yoda, were simply never on shelves. But this is not the point, just further frustrate a parent trying to fill a stocking.
Back to the multi-packs. What is even funnier about these multi-packs that have the limited edition/new figures, combined with the older figures that everyone already has, is that there is never just one multi-pack released at a time. Justice league, for instance, has at least four multi-packs with three figures each in every release. Each will feature either Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman (and in the last of the four, there will be two of those characters). Teen titans even went so far as to have what was a previously exclusive figure that only came with the main Teen Titan transport vehicle, later to be released in two packs with no less than three other new characters.
Why can't toy companies make the figures and distribute them in a fashion that the most popular characters are in abundance, and the less popular characters the more "collectable/rare" figures (as there will be collecters out there to scoop them up), and any new figure available in a solo pack, or in a multi-pack with other new figures only. And for pete's sake, if you do have to put the same old figure in the two pack, at least make something about the figure different that makes sense! (For instance, make the Batman that has his S.C.U.B.A. equiptment for the pack that also has Aquaman.)
In the mean time, I will be trying to convince my kids that they really don't want the Shining Knight figure after all, as he comes with yet another Superman, and Batman!
Why do special limited edition or exclusive toys always come in multipack with the toys you will already have?
Before I start down this road, let me say that for the most part, Transformers seemingly are innocent of this, unless you count those Botcon packs I will never get my hands on anyway.
So, in my home, we have no less than 8 seperate Supermn figures, 12 Batman figures, 2 Wonder Women (these from the Justice league collection), 7 Robins, 4 Cyborgs, 3 Ravens, 3 Beast Boys, 3 Starfires (from Teen Titans), and countless Spidermen.
Did my boys want all of these figures? Well, they don't mind having them, as it encourages certain figures to remain somewhat pristine, while others start to receive varying degrees of battle damage. However, the nly way that way could get other figures were to buy the same igures we already had in order to receive a new figure that was previously unreleased. For instance, if we wanted to get the Puppet King from the Teen Titans, he only came with yet another Robin. As the Teen Titans were initially released with only one bad guy, it was the only way to start evening the playing field, or to have more challenges for the team.
Of course this could also be compounded with the fact that in certain toy lines, they will make an extremely limited amount of a certain figure to increase collectability. Quite often this is the most sought after figures. For instance the second Snake Eyes figure from G.I.Joe (the one with the wolf), and from Star Wars Episode 1 Yoda, were simply never on shelves. But this is not the point, just further frustrate a parent trying to fill a stocking.
Back to the multi-packs. What is even funnier about these multi-packs that have the limited edition/new figures, combined with the older figures that everyone already has, is that there is never just one multi-pack released at a time. Justice league, for instance, has at least four multi-packs with three figures each in every release. Each will feature either Superman, Batman, or Wonder Woman (and in the last of the four, there will be two of those characters). Teen titans even went so far as to have what was a previously exclusive figure that only came with the main Teen Titan transport vehicle, later to be released in two packs with no less than three other new characters.
Why can't toy companies make the figures and distribute them in a fashion that the most popular characters are in abundance, and the less popular characters the more "collectable/rare" figures (as there will be collecters out there to scoop them up), and any new figure available in a solo pack, or in a multi-pack with other new figures only. And for pete's sake, if you do have to put the same old figure in the two pack, at least make something about the figure different that makes sense! (For instance, make the Batman that has his S.C.U.B.A. equiptment for the pack that also has Aquaman.)
In the mean time, I will be trying to convince my kids that they really don't want the Shining Knight figure after all, as he comes with yet another Superman, and Batman!
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I wold agree with you on the entire getting rid of the excess thing, but those all seemingly go to the wholesale discount stores. Especially the variants.
Now for the gripe that will get me caught back up, and current again! (I now know not to leave for the weekend, and try to read all of the posts that hapened while I was reading a book instead!)
Tonight's subject is Harry Potter.
I know I have droned on and on about how much I like the series of books, and films. I do enjoy them quite a lot. But, now the books are over. This is what I am upset about.
This is the first time in a long time that I have completed a series of books, and not have the overwhelming feelig that something could have been addressed that was not. J.K. thought of EVERYTHING!!!
She pulled on clues that were from the very first book (though they could have been not meant as clues at the time), and put everything to bed so well, that there will not be even a possible sequel series. She may be able to do something down the road with a couple of the newer characters, but this is still extremely far fetched. The only question I could even possibly still ask is, "What was that curtain in the Ministry from book 5?", but as we know what it did, how it works is rather imatterial.
So, it is over. It is done, and there will be no more. I knew this day would come, and I am happy that the serie ended so well, but cannot forgo the feeling of loss that there will be nothing to look forward to in this series other than the final two films. I have no idea how they are going to get everything from the final book into one film, but I do know that barring the end of the world between now and 2010, there will be 2 final films.
I just hate to see good stories, or for that matter, good T.V. end. There is so much garbage out there these days, that it is sad that there can be no more of those that actually deserve their hype. Of course, when you take it out too long, it becomes a bad thing (the only exception to this is the Simpsons). For instance That 70's Show should definitely stopped one season earlier. That one was carried out until the beaten horse died a second time.
So, I am stuck with trying to find soem new reading material, that will not simply rot my brain. Perhaps I should go ahead and try to read the novelization of this summer's TF movie, so as to try and grasp a better understanding of the characters' motivations. Maybe I will not be so down on the movie then.
Now for the gripe that will get me caught back up, and current again! (I now know not to leave for the weekend, and try to read all of the posts that hapened while I was reading a book instead!)
Tonight's subject is Harry Potter.
I know I have droned on and on about how much I like the series of books, and films. I do enjoy them quite a lot. But, now the books are over. This is what I am upset about.
This is the first time in a long time that I have completed a series of books, and not have the overwhelming feelig that something could have been addressed that was not. J.K. thought of EVERYTHING!!!
She pulled on clues that were from the very first book (though they could have been not meant as clues at the time), and put everything to bed so well, that there will not be even a possible sequel series. She may be able to do something down the road with a couple of the newer characters, but this is still extremely far fetched. The only question I could even possibly still ask is, "What was that curtain in the Ministry from book 5?", but as we know what it did, how it works is rather imatterial.
So, it is over. It is done, and there will be no more. I knew this day would come, and I am happy that the serie ended so well, but cannot forgo the feeling of loss that there will be nothing to look forward to in this series other than the final two films. I have no idea how they are going to get everything from the final book into one film, but I do know that barring the end of the world between now and 2010, there will be 2 final films.
I just hate to see good stories, or for that matter, good T.V. end. There is so much garbage out there these days, that it is sad that there can be no more of those that actually deserve their hype. Of course, when you take it out too long, it becomes a bad thing (the only exception to this is the Simpsons). For instance That 70's Show should definitely stopped one season earlier. That one was carried out until the beaten horse died a second time.
So, I am stuck with trying to find soem new reading material, that will not simply rot my brain. Perhaps I should go ahead and try to read the novelization of this summer's TF movie, so as to try and grasp a better understanding of the characters' motivations. Maybe I will not be so down on the movie then.
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Don't get me wrong, I personally am no HP fan. BUT... A lot of people enjoy this series, and it's best for them that it did end. The truth of the matter is, it's best to end a good series of any sort while it's still running strong and well, or it will become stale and end on a low and unsatisfying note.
PS. I recommend Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card.
PS. I recommend Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card.
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Ultra Magnus
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Ultra Magnus
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Okay, my wife has the hoo-doo.
For those of you that are anawre of hoo-doo, it is a darker branch of voo-doo.
My wife has a special ability to jinx anything going on. For instance, If she sits at my computer, the next time I sit down, I am garaunteed a blue screen. If I am watchng a Cubs game, they will be winning the enitre time she is out of the room (Yes, Arcee, the Cubs can actually lead on the scoreboard.). When she enters the room, the other team score 7 unanswered points.
Here is the best story of all to prove the hoo-doo lives in her. We were watching racing one season. Her favorite driver was up to break the record for most consecutive season's with a race won. The entire season we watched together, niether my driver nor hers could win. The season ended badly for us. The next season, we were watching a race. Her driver was performing extremely poorly. She decided to run get some groceries instead of watching the rest of the race. Do you know that within five minutes of her leaving, her driver makes up a lap, takes the lead and proceeds to win the race?
I had been telling her for years that her hoo-doo was effecting the Universe as a whole, but she never believed me until that moment.
My wife now understands, that if it can go wrong, it will most likely wait until she enter's the room.
Of course, I love her, and wouldn't trade her in, especially since I can now officially blame everything on her!!!
For those of you that are anawre of hoo-doo, it is a darker branch of voo-doo.
My wife has a special ability to jinx anything going on. For instance, If she sits at my computer, the next time I sit down, I am garaunteed a blue screen. If I am watchng a Cubs game, they will be winning the enitre time she is out of the room (Yes, Arcee, the Cubs can actually lead on the scoreboard.). When she enters the room, the other team score 7 unanswered points.
Here is the best story of all to prove the hoo-doo lives in her. We were watching racing one season. Her favorite driver was up to break the record for most consecutive season's with a race won. The entire season we watched together, niether my driver nor hers could win. The season ended badly for us. The next season, we were watching a race. Her driver was performing extremely poorly. She decided to run get some groceries instead of watching the rest of the race. Do you know that within five minutes of her leaving, her driver makes up a lap, takes the lead and proceeds to win the race?
I had been telling her for years that her hoo-doo was effecting the Universe as a whole, but she never believed me until that moment.
My wife now understands, that if it can go wrong, it will most likely wait until she enter's the room.
Of course, I love her, and wouldn't trade her in, especially since I can now officially blame everything on her!!!
Damn.Ultra Magnus wrote:(Yes, Arcee, the Cubs can actually lead on the scoreboard.)
lol, Well, I can kind of relate to that actually. Except that my jinxing isn't always in the form of watching a team/sport, so much as it is in wearing their gear. If I wear my Red Sox hat, their fate is sealed in a loss that night. As such, I'm basically relegated to only wear it on days they aren't playing. And God forbid I wear my Schilling t-shirt on days he actually pitches, because he'll probably give up like four homers.
*Sigh.* It's tough, I tell ya. Your wife has my sympathy.
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Okay, time again for fun and fluffy Friday!
Today’s topic: The things my kids say.
I can think of no better way to start this topic, than to talk about my youngest mini-con, Michael. He is now 5. A couple of weeks ago, he walked up to me, and out of nowhere he just said, “Daddy, you are weird”
“Why do you say that, son?”
“Because you taught me how to fart!”
The boy was just as serious as he could be. No amount of explaining I did could convince him that everybody farts, and he learned that skill on his own.
My oldest, Dylan, has shown a bit more reasoning with some of the things he says. He is now 7. He still questions me on quite a bit though. For instance if I am playing a game in front of him, most of which I have had since before he was born, there will be a constant flood of hints that he will give me, always with the heading of, “Daddy, did you know..” and the moment he finishes the statement with “…did you know that, Daddy?” Sometimes I feign ignorance for him. However, when he was just one-year-old, we had a very enlightening conversation about the impending arrival of a new baby.
“Son, would you like to have a little brother or sister?”
“No”
“You don’t want a new baby in the house?”
“No”
“Wouldn’t you like another kid to play with?”
“No”
This is where my smart mouth got involved. “Can you say anything other than ‘no’?”
He thought on this one for a second, and looked me straight in the eye to say, “Nuh-uh”
My youngest has another hit with the popular response to a request to stop being so sarcastic. He will respond, “Oh, I am soooo sarcastic.”
My oldest also started to curse at the tender age of 3. The first time he cursed, was quite an extraordinary event. We had been teaching him how to use the remote to assist with basic number recognition. We had taught him the number combinations for the channels he was allowed to watch during the day. We had digital cable at the time, so the was an East Coast and a West Coast feed of Nickelodeon coming into the house. This means that they were they same channel, just one has a 3 hour delay. So, my wife and I were in the kitchen (there is a clear view to the living room from there), making lunch, when all of a sudden we hear the exclamation, “Mighty hell! There are two Nick Juniors!!!”
I have never before or since heard the pairing “Mighty hell,” but at least he was using the word correctly, as a sign of surprise.
The final example I will be from when my oldest was four. He came up to me, and hugged me, and said, “I love you, Daddy.”
At this point I had a wild hair that made me ask, “Dylan, what is love?”
His response was, “Dylan and Michael get hugs.”
He did not hesitate for a second before saying it, even though it was probably wrong of me to ask such a philosophical question of a 4 year old. The inclusion of his brother in the statement, though, gave me all the proof I would ever need that he did indeed understand the concept.
Today’s topic: The things my kids say.
I can think of no better way to start this topic, than to talk about my youngest mini-con, Michael. He is now 5. A couple of weeks ago, he walked up to me, and out of nowhere he just said, “Daddy, you are weird”
“Why do you say that, son?”
“Because you taught me how to fart!”
The boy was just as serious as he could be. No amount of explaining I did could convince him that everybody farts, and he learned that skill on his own.
My oldest, Dylan, has shown a bit more reasoning with some of the things he says. He is now 7. He still questions me on quite a bit though. For instance if I am playing a game in front of him, most of which I have had since before he was born, there will be a constant flood of hints that he will give me, always with the heading of, “Daddy, did you know..” and the moment he finishes the statement with “…did you know that, Daddy?” Sometimes I feign ignorance for him. However, when he was just one-year-old, we had a very enlightening conversation about the impending arrival of a new baby.
“Son, would you like to have a little brother or sister?”
“No”
“You don’t want a new baby in the house?”
“No”
“Wouldn’t you like another kid to play with?”
“No”
This is where my smart mouth got involved. “Can you say anything other than ‘no’?”
He thought on this one for a second, and looked me straight in the eye to say, “Nuh-uh”
My youngest has another hit with the popular response to a request to stop being so sarcastic. He will respond, “Oh, I am soooo sarcastic.”
My oldest also started to curse at the tender age of 3. The first time he cursed, was quite an extraordinary event. We had been teaching him how to use the remote to assist with basic number recognition. We had taught him the number combinations for the channels he was allowed to watch during the day. We had digital cable at the time, so the was an East Coast and a West Coast feed of Nickelodeon coming into the house. This means that they were they same channel, just one has a 3 hour delay. So, my wife and I were in the kitchen (there is a clear view to the living room from there), making lunch, when all of a sudden we hear the exclamation, “Mighty hell! There are two Nick Juniors!!!”
I have never before or since heard the pairing “Mighty hell,” but at least he was using the word correctly, as a sign of surprise.
The final example I will be from when my oldest was four. He came up to me, and hugged me, and said, “I love you, Daddy.”
At this point I had a wild hair that made me ask, “Dylan, what is love?”
His response was, “Dylan and Michael get hugs.”
He did not hesitate for a second before saying it, even though it was probably wrong of me to ask such a philosophical question of a 4 year old. The inclusion of his brother in the statement, though, gave me all the proof I would ever need that he did indeed understand the concept.
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Well, The other thing that makes it stand out so much was the subject of his surprise. He was tlking about Nick Junior. You know, Blues Clues, and Dora, and whatnot.
Though my wife and I did have a talk with him about appropriate language, it took us quite a few minutes to sraighten out our faces enough to do so.
Though my wife and I did have a talk with him about appropriate language, it took us quite a few minutes to sraighten out our faces enough to do so.
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