Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 6:25 pm
Transformerland.com
Transformers discussion forum - free from AI slop!
https://www.transformerland.com/forum/
Joke of the day
Page 3 of 17
Posted: Sat Jun 21, 2008 10:02 pm
That's great!
Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 2:40 pm
The old lady read the joke, and I said "Bell 1'. She just rolled her eyes. 
Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 4:34 pm
I am afraid my sense of humor is just a bit screwy but here goes
Two nuns are driving through transylvania when Dracula lands on their bonnet
The first nun says " Quick show him your cross "
The second nun leans out the window and yells " GET THE HELL OFF MY CAR YOU FANGED DWEEB "
or if that didnt make you laugh here is one Derrick told me last week
A drunk man brings two freinds home after a heavy drinking session to show them his new house, they are both impressed at the house but baffled by the presence of a large gong ai the hallway. The first freind says " what is the gong for "
The man says " that is my talking clock "
The second freind says " that is absurd prove it "
so the man delivers an ear shattering blow to the gong with a 3 1/2 pound sledgehammer and a vioce from upstairs says
" FOR GOD SAKE IT IS TWENTY TO TWO IN THE MORNING "
Two nuns are driving through transylvania when Dracula lands on their bonnet
The first nun says " Quick show him your cross "
The second nun leans out the window and yells " GET THE HELL OFF MY CAR YOU FANGED DWEEB "
or if that didnt make you laugh here is one Derrick told me last week
A drunk man brings two freinds home after a heavy drinking session to show them his new house, they are both impressed at the house but baffled by the presence of a large gong ai the hallway. The first freind says " what is the gong for "
The man says " that is my talking clock "
The second freind says " that is absurd prove it "
so the man delivers an ear shattering blow to the gong with a 3 1/2 pound sledgehammer and a vioce from upstairs says
" FOR GOD SAKE IT IS TWENTY TO TWO IN THE MORNING "
Posted: Sun Jun 22, 2008 8:53 pm
@Snarl: 
I loved the nun joke! Nuns are instantly funny no matter what the situation is.
I loved the nun joke! Nuns are instantly funny no matter what the situation is.Ramjet wrote:The old lady read the joke, and I said "Bell 1'. She just rolled her eyes.
Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 3:55 am
lol - those are great jokes Snarl
OK, here's one for today;
Superman's had a hard week of fighting crime in Metropolis and is ready for some fun. So Friday afternoon, he looks up his pals Batman and Spiderman to see if they're up for going on the prowl that evening. Both turn him down on account of prior commitments, and Superman is pretty ticked. As he's flying around the stratosphere letting off steam, he spots Wonder Woman lying on her back stark naked sunbathing on the beach.
"Hey," he thinks, "I'm Superman and I don't need those two clowns to have a good time. I can just fly down there at the speed of light, catch a quickie, and fly away before she even knows what happened."
So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at the speed of light.
Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?"
The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but my a$$ hurts like hell."
OK, here's one for today;
Superman's had a hard week of fighting crime in Metropolis and is ready for some fun. So Friday afternoon, he looks up his pals Batman and Spiderman to see if they're up for going on the prowl that evening. Both turn him down on account of prior commitments, and Superman is pretty ticked. As he's flying around the stratosphere letting off steam, he spots Wonder Woman lying on her back stark naked sunbathing on the beach.
"Hey," he thinks, "I'm Superman and I don't need those two clowns to have a good time. I can just fly down there at the speed of light, catch a quickie, and fly away before she even knows what happened."
So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at the speed of light.
Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?"
The Invisible Man says, "I don't know but my a$$ hurts like hell."
Posted: Fri Jun 27, 2008 4:24 am
That seems to be pretty much on par for the average DC storyline. I loved the 52 re-hash of DC universe history in the back of the books. That was a merry little waltz through memory lane.Sunstorm wrote:lol - those are great jokes Snarl
So, Superman zips down, takes advantage of the situation and flies away at the speed of light."[/b]
Is "Batwoman" ever going to be launched? Or has it?
Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:46 pm
Does it speak to my utter geekdom that I couldn't enjoy that joke because I was too busy thinking "Superman would never hang out with Spider-Man" ... ?
They're still working on it, from what I understand. I don't think it's due out for a few months yet.Roar wrote:Is "Batwoman" ever going to be launched? Or has it?
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:00 pm
haven't done one for a few days - here you go;
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.
Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed.
The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings... It's Jim.
Jim says, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud says, "I feel great. How about you?" Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud says, "No, that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often." "Yeah, well there's just one thing..." "What's that?" "Have you farted yet?" "No....."
"Well, DON'T, 'cause I'm in PHOENIX!!!"
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:03 pm
ROTFLMAO!!! Excellent Sunstorm, LOL!!!
Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 4:06 pm
Great joke Sunstorm!
Rumble.
Rumble.
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:28 am
Ramjet, Goldbug, Galvatron isn't that the norm for you three, she doesn't know what has happened then its over?Sunstorm wrote: catch a quickie, and fly away before she even knows what happened."
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 10:01 am
On a good day. Sometimes I don't even make it there before I'm done.
Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 11:09 am
LMAO!!! Excellent Ramjet, great come back.
Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 1:29 pm
Okay, a freind just told me this one -
Why did the woman miss her husband ?
It was the first time that she had fired a shotgun
Why did the woman miss her husband ?
It was the first time that she had fired a shotgun
Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 2:04 pm
Ok, I have been torturing Rodimus with this at work al week...
James Bond (Stop groaning RP!!! ) goes to Q for his latest gadgets. Q hands him a pen that turns into a tank, a tennis ball that is actually a Harrier Jump-jet and a pair of gloves.
Bond looks at the gloves and says "Q, what the hell are they for"
To which Q replies.
"Well 007, they are in case you get *sings to the tune of Goldfinger*
Coldfingers"
James Bond (Stop groaning RP!!!
) goes to Q for his latest gadgets. Q hands him a pen that turns into a tank, a tennis ball that is actually a Harrier Jump-jet and a pair of gloves. Bond looks at the gloves and says "Q, what the hell are they for"
To which Q replies.
"Well 007, they are in case you get *sings to the tune of Goldfinger*
Coldfingers"
Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:34 am
*facedesk facedesk
facegun*
facegun*
Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:30 am
That joke was not that bad was it, certainly not bad enough to hammer your head on your desk, then nibble the end of a gun
Here are some statements that you do NOT want to hear during minor surgery :-
We had better save that .......... we will need it for the autopsy
Dam it ......... can someone change that light bulb
Accept this sacrifice, oh great lord of darkness
Oops
Wait a minute ............ if that is his finger end .............. what is this
Here are some statements that you do NOT want to hear during minor surgery :-
We had better save that .......... we will need it for the autopsy
Dam it ......... can someone change that light bulb
Accept this sacrifice, oh great lord of darkness
Oops
Wait a minute ............ if that is his finger end .............. what is this
Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:20 am
Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:27 pm
Here are another few for you :-
A little girl asks her mummy " do all fairy tales begin ' once upon a time '"
" No " says mummy " your fathers usually begin ' the train was late again ' ..........
We had our home child proofed last year, but it is no use, they can still get in ......
A little girl asks her mummy " do all fairy tales begin ' once upon a time '"
" No " says mummy " your fathers usually begin ' the train was late again ' ..........
We had our home child proofed last year, but it is no use, they can still get in ......